Curse of the Good Girl!
Momma always told me I was a good girl. She also taught me that parents need to tell their children who they want them to be. I was always the adorable little redhead who could go anywhere because of her impeccable behavior. Momma took pride in saying so. I was only a little girl, but I had a reputation to maintain!
Somewhere and somehow I stopped listening to the truth in those messages and started paying attention to the lies of this world.
“Everyone likes you because of your behavior.”
“You’ll be more loved if you obey.”
“No one will reject you if you do what they want.”
“Make people happy and then they’ll accept you.”
“The praise of men is most important, so earn it.”
LIES! ALL LIES!
Unfortunately, it took me until mid-life to recognize how much energy I’d wasted and how much joy I’d missed out on. In the process I had become very unhappy. Depression can take many forms, and for me it often manifested itself as self-loathing. I couldn’t seem to ever be happy with myself—get this—because I couldn’t make everyone else happy first.
(As I type those words the craziness oozes out so obviously…)
But strangely, I even got to the point where I cringed when people complimented me.
“Becky Sue, you are such a good student.”
“Honey, you are such a good wife.”
“Momma, you are the best.”
“Mrs. Madison, you’re a wonderful teacher.”
Curses!!
All the comments I’d sought after for so many years now seemed fake and I couldn’t accept them with the love they were offered.
God tells us the solution is through His way:
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”-Matthew 6:33 (KJV)
—Sure, God, I want Your ways first, but happiness in this life comes from being considered “good,” right?
“No, darling one, I am your joy. You are good because you are mine.”
—So, now what do I DO?
“I said, ‘you ARE good.’”
This is now the journey I am consciously on: learning to see myself as good and believing what God tells me about myself. It has nothing to do with actions or behavior; it’s who I am because He made me and loves me—just as I am.
Just like Momma preached that parents need to tell their children who they want them to be, our Heavenly Father tells us every day that we are His—and that we are good. We can believe it!
This Momma is telling you so!
GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!
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